Stay or Go – What pastors often try to tell me
Because they really want the best for their church - but also want to stay in charge
700 words – less than 3 minutes
This is the last part of a four-part series. See below to get a full white paper with a complete view of the issue.
Here are some factors I often hear from the current senior pastor, but I discount and, hopefully, revise their perspective.
Consider these my notes addressing these concerns. You may disagree with my perspective, but I often touch on some blind spots the pastor has.
Or as one early reader of this email said: “Someone needs to say this, better you than me!”
As you will see, these are all related to a decision to STAY at the church after a handoff to another leader.
Actual Quotes
“I can still preach.”
Of course, you can. You have years of experience at it and can communicate well to your generation, usually one below that and one above that.
But my experience is that generations younger need younger communicators who can communicate to real needs and relate God’s word to those that younger hearers can identify with the speaker.
If you want to grow a church of older people than yourself, stay on and be the primary speaker.
(Probably not what any of my clients look like…but remember, people died younger back then)
“The people want me.”
I am sure they do. But they also have not considered the alternative.
The leaders you started with love you. Their children love you. Even the current generation of adults love you.
But is it about the current people within the congregation or future generations not reached by the congregation?
“I have to guide the successor.”
These are the hoverers. They want to retain some control to “give the leadership team confidence for the next chapter. After all, I will still be here if something goes wrong.”
What often goes wrong is that leadership may be transferred, but power and authority are not.
This leads to frustration, passive-aggressive behaviors, and sometimes – disasters.
“The new leader will make too many changes.”
Well, maybe.
But in a good process, the core adjustments and changes in the immediate next chapter are discussed, vetted, and agreed upon with the board as a part of the process.
In my tool kit, we call this the Futurestory Brief.
“This is MY church.”
It’s Christ’s church. You lead in His stead and for His purposes. You are the current steward.
Once you aim for what is best for the church over the next season, you might realize that a new leader could be needed for it to move forward.
“The board wants me to stay.”
This can be awkward.
Several times, I have made this observation. The pastor asks the board about the wisdom of their staying, and the board encourages the pastor to stay.
At times, the board feels this is the right course. At other times, they have no energy to prepare for the succession and transition. And yet other times, they have not considered any options.
But even when I observe current pastors raise this with their boards and the board says – STAY, then I begin some discussions with individual board members, and they tell me – “well, I felt that was what he wanted to hear, but actually……”
Then I get a different story.
“We are doing fine; we just need to reach some younger generations and families.”
Sometimes this comes from the leader, but more often from the board.
When I ask how many board members of the pastor’s generation have children engaged in leadership at the same church NOW, usually half hang their heads.
That is not always a bad thing. We need to have a culture of releasing and sending to serve elsewhere.
But often, there is a disconnect in style, approach, relatability, and connection between generations that does make a difference.
This can be eased some with great multigenerational teaching teams.
And finally – and yes this happened, though not a client:
“When God call me to preach. He never said to stop. I will stop when God takes me out.”
Sadly, this pastor had a stroke while preaching. He never recovered and died after lingering a few months.
Not sure I would blame God for that. The man was up there in years and not in the best shape.
But don’t let this be you.
PS. They didn’t have an emergency plan either. See below for a free template.
Today’s advertisement - And announcement for 2024
Announcement first - I have very few windows to start new clients in 2023, so I am now booking 2024 clients primarily. I might squeeze one more in to start the process this year.
If you want the 2023 pricing, even if you want to start in the first parts of 2024, get with me now, and let’s discuss. Just send me an email.
Freebies:
I have a free emergency plan template that has guided several hundred churches now. Write me an email to request it.
I have compiled a version of all these stay-or-go posts into a convenient white paper document. If you want that free document, write me an email and we will get it out to you.
It is an intense client-focused season, and I am on the road, but will get these to you if you request them.
Thanks for reading.