Kevin Kelly's Unsolicited Advice: 6 Gems for Church Leaders
From his upcoming book, with my additions for church leaders
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I am a sucker for lists like Kevin Kelly’s unsolicited advice list.
He used to publish it every year on his birthday, but now he is combining some of his lists into a new book: Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I wished I’d known earlier.
I have pre-ordered it. You can do that here.
I am using a few items from his list he shared when he turned 68 to share today and then explain how I think they apply to church leaders.
(photo by Christopher Michel CMichel67 - Creative Commons)
The numbers are from his prior listing that he had earlier published on his blog. The book will probably change some of the numbers.
Kelly’s Number 1
“Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or who even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they really believe.”
My work takes me across a very diverse set of traditions, denominations, and theological perspectives. I don’t always agree with my client’s stance on certain issues and practices. But I strive to always learn from them.
When I led Leadership Network forums, this was a principle we had to work hard with some clients stressing that “what some haven’t solved in 2000 years won’t be solved today, but you could learn something from them” to help manage some of that dissonance.
Kelly’s Number 2
“Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.”
There are smarts, and then there is practicality.
In congregations, enthusiasm matters.
Being willing to put one’s shoulder to the task, and have good cheer about the task, even when unpleasant, really does matter to making things happen.
I believe in smarts, but doggedness, grit, and enthusiasm is worth much more in a team effort.
Kelly’s Number 3
“Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.”
Churches run on 6 or 7-day cycles for their regular calendar. Perhaps a longer cadence for certain other activities. (See these posts here, here, and here)
But deadlines insist that progress gets made. In my observation, there is always a team that insists on perfection in a project that tends to get bogged down and slow the rest of the team.
Demand a deadline and hold folks to it.
Kelly’s Number 7
“Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.”
We all know the power of gratitude. That could be writing down what we are personally thankful for. It could be sharing how we are thankful for something found in another person as well. (see this recent post)
The key is to learn to be grateful and learn best by practice.
Kelly’s number 12
“Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.”
I see this in great leaders. They know when they have made a mistake and are quick to correct it.
If they have wronged a person, they gracefully ask for forgiveness.
Or if a program or project went south or sour, they explain what happened, how it happened, and how they will fix it.
Pros are not afraid to try and fail, but when they do, they learn not to sulk but to recover.
Kelly’s number 18
“Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: Busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how a second try works.”
In my interviews with client consultations, you would be amazed at how many key staff and volunteer leaders tell me about the repeated asks that the pastor made of them before they decided to accept the role or join the team.
They didn’t feel irritated. They felt honored to be asked. And repeatedly asked. That’s how they knew they were precious to the cause.
While I don’t do generosity consultations, I have heard my Generis colleagues tell stories of pastors initially turned down by a key giver, only to re-ask a bit later and get a better response.
The act of asking elevates both the asker and the askee!
At times, the initial ask will get someone’s mind turning and bending towards the thing asked, but the initial response is no.
Ask again.
PS. Can I ask you again to share this with a friend?
Next time we will look at a few more of Kevin’s list of his sayings.
To check out his new book, go here.
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